At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
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I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
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I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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