Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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