i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
