Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
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