Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
