I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
my being single is dangerous.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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