This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
