yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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