hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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