Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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