Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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