she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize