rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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