I can't watch pbs sober anymore
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
