You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
