I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Be still, my beating vagina.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
