HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
