i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
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