I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
