This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize
