How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
