No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
