If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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