wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
did you just send me my own nude
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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