is wine microwaveable?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I still have a little drunk in my system
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
