when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
