We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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