YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Randomize
