You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
you inspire me to be a worse person
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Randomize
