So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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