i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Send help, water and tortillas.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
