Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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