No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
