bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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