Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
