I must be too annoying 4 u.
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
