Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
