I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
