The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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