from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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