the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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