stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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