I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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