I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
