Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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