sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
