then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize