Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
