my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
