are you still at the devil's house?
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Randomize
