I'm going to jail i love you
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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