When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
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