Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
