kristin has been a bad kristin
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I would fuck him just for his dog
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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