On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
