If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
