Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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