Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize