My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
