forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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