It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
